It is a surprise to none how good of a game Hades is. It came out of Early Access swinging, just as its protagonist, offering an exhilarating combat, interesting build choices during each run and deep, well-developed characters. The latter, combined with the current and quite unfortunate ‘Rona caused lack of face-to-face communication got me thinking: which of the ladies in the game should you take out on a date. I mean, it’s not very easy to take someone on a real date nowadays, if we are going to dream about it, why don’t we spice things up with some mythological characters? In this impromptu Hades romance guide we will discuss four of the game’s ladies. So let’s start, in no particular order:
Megaera
Ah, Zagreus’ Ex. While seemingly the flame has long gone out, there are still sparks flying in the air every time you encounter her. Whether those are sparks of joy or pure hatred is another matter, but hey, love and hate go hand in hand, right? Magaera is a bit hardcore, but once you know her better you will discover that actually she is all hardcore, no soft side here, I’m afraid.
Pros
Into whips and chains, if you like that sort of stuff that is, otherwise a huge con
Has a low, sexy voice
You will never be mugged again
Cons
A bit clingy, won’t even let you leave the house
It is always your fault
Will remind you why it is best if you leave your Ex in the past
Aphrodite
The Goddess of Love herself! Rocking dazzling looks and a charming, playful attitude, Aphrodite can make your head spin. She is best to none in the game called Love and can show it to you in a million and one ways. However, being a Love superstar means that she’s seen quite a lot of suitors and you will need to be on top of your game if you want to get her attention. Also, and this is an important one, she is married, to a god no less, so it could be a bit risky, at the least.
Pros
Can make an adult film star blush
Will make you want to be your best self
Wild parties and adventures are her style
Cons
Her husband is the literal God of War
You will never be enough for her
Dating her can be quite exhausting
Artemis
The wildest of our Hades romance options today, The Goddess of the Hunt herself. Artemis is a smooth talking, highly energetic lady that also has a soft and caring side. She is also all about hunting and prey(duh!) so expect a lot of wild adventures and encounters with epic beats. Being with Artemis can make your adrenaline hit the roof!
Pros
Outgoing and nature loving person
Will have a lot of cool stories to remember
You’ll never be hungry
Cons
Will hunt you down if you wrong her
Being around her can be quite dangerous
Not suitable for pacifists or vegans
Alecto and Tisiphone
No, in the name of Zeus, no, stop it, just stop it! Who are you?!
Pros
I don’t even want to know you
Suitable if you have a fetish for that one scene in Scary Movie
Cons
Whips and chains, but not in a good way
Murrrrrderrrrrrr!!!
That’s it for part one of our Hades romance in real life scenario simulator. Tune in for the second round where we will take a look of the five remaining ladies and fantasize a bit about them. Until then, stay safe and play Hades!