You are currently viewing Hades Romance IRL. Which Lady You Should Date: Pros and Cons Part 1

Hades Romance IRL. Which Lady You Should Date: Pros and Cons Part 1

It is a surprise to none how good of a game Hades is. It came out of Early Access swinging, just as its protagonist, offering an exhilarating combat, interesting build choices during each run and deep, well-developed characters. The latter, combined with the current and quite unfortunate ‘Rona caused lack of face-to-face communication got me thinking: which of the ladies in the game should you take out on a date. I mean, it’s not very easy to take someone on a real date nowadays, if we are going to dream about it, why don’t we spice things up with some mythological characters? In this impromptu Hades romance guide we will discuss four of the game’s ladies. So let’s start, in no particular order:


Ah, Zagreus’ Ex. While seemingly the flame has long gone out, there are still sparks flying in the air every time you encounter her. Whether those are sparks of joy or pure hatred is another matter, but hey, love and hate go hand in hand, right? Magaera is a bit hardcore, but once you know her better you will discover that actually she is all hardcore, no soft side here, I’m afraid.

  • Into whips and chains, if you like that sort of stuff that is, otherwise a huge con
  • Has a low, sexy voice
  • You will never be mugged again
  • A bit clingy, won’t even let you leave the house
  • It is always your fault
  • Will remind you why it is best if you leave your Ex in the past


The Goddess of Love herself! Rocking dazzling looks and a charming, playful attitude, Aphrodite can make your head spin. She is best to none in the game called Love and can show it to you in a million and one ways. However, being a Love superstar means that she’s seen quite a lot of suitors and you will need to be on top of your game if you want to get her attention. Also, and this is an important one, she is married, to a god no less, so it could be a bit risky, at the least.

  • Can make an adult film star blush
  • Will make you want to be your best self
  • Wild parties and adventures are her style
  • Her husband is the literal God of War
  • You will never be enough for her
  • Dating her can be quite exhausting


The wildest of our Hades romance options today, The Goddess of the Hunt herself. Artemis is a smooth talking, highly energetic lady that also has a soft and caring side. She is also all about hunting and prey(duh!) so expect a lot of wild adventures and encounters with epic beats. Being with Artemis can make your adrenaline hit the roof!

  • Outgoing and nature loving person
  • Will have a lot of cool stories to remember
  • You’ll never be hungry
  • Will hunt you down if you wrong her
  • Being around her can be quite dangerous
  • Not suitable for pacifists or vegans

Alecto and Tisiphone

No, in the name of Zeus, no, stop it, just stop it! Who are you?!

  • I don’t even want to know you
  • Suitable if you have a fetish for that one scene in Scary Movie
  • Whips and chains, but not in a good way
  • Murrrrrderrrrrrr!!!

That’s it for part one of our Hades romance in real life scenario simulator. Tune in for the second round where we will take a look of the five remaining ladies and fantasize a bit about them. Until then, stay safe and play Hades!